One month old

Jeepers, how time flies when you are busy eating, sleeping and poohing all day! I've barely had time to get my PR staff onto the blog for an update, let alone keeping up with emails, texts and YouTube - it's all go here at Monty Brand Inc ...

I have had a very exciting time since last we blogged. I have finally managed to get up to my birth weight, after toying with mummy and daddy for four weeks and making them worry. I don't know why they were concerned - what kind of Khan or Blackbourn would ever be under weight for long? I am now a very bouncy 4.4kg, which is 9lb 11oz in old money, and I am a lot longer than I was when I first got here. Mind you, I am still getting into my newborn clothes, which is just as well considering how many I have. (I heard mummy say that I had to wear everything at least once or there'd be bother, and who am I to argue at such an early stage in our relationship?)

We have discovered a very exciting thing called 'Bubs On Board', where babies and toddlers can take their parents to the cinema for just $6.50 per adult (about £2). It's great cos mummy and daddy get to watch a film and mummy feeds me for the entire film to keep me quiet, so I get loads of boobie time, hurrah. That has certainly helped me gain that weight we mentioned earlier, and it's scored me some mega brownie points with the oldies cos they get to see films for next to nothing. So far we've seen Dean Spanley (4.5 stars) and The Secret Life of Bees (4 stars), although next week it's Confessions of a Shopaholic, which daddy iasn't quite so excited about. Somehow they don't seem to put boys' films on for these screenings ... funny that...

We also had our first trip to the beach, although we had a picnic on the grass by the beach and didn't actually venture onto the sand cos it was a bit windy and it was making my ears cold. We'll gloss over the fact that the oldies forgot to pack any suncream or a sunhat for me, so we had to stay under a huge tree the whole time. I'll let them off cos they are only trainees, but by jingo they'd best get their act together soon cos I'd quitelike to have a wee paddle before summer leaves us entirely.

I did my first smiles this week... the proper ones, not the pretend ones where I am realtl trumping or poohing. It's fun doing smiles cos it makes the grown ups go all silly and giddy. You should hear them start cooing and shouting each other to come and look. Lord knows what they'll be like when I start with the really exciting tricks, like standing up or talking!

Another first this week was when daddy decided to see if I could bounce. I'm not sure what he was doing but he slipped down the stairs and launched me doiwn the final meter or so onto my head. Luckily I am very clever and stayed floppy and just got a little bump on my head, but of course the grown ups got very animated about it all and we had to have a ride in a ner-ner to the hospital where they looked into my eyes (not around the eyes, lookinto the eyes), put a little machine on my wrist and took measurements, and then put me in a gigantic metal doughnut to see hwat was happening inside my head. Luckily everything looked marvellous (well of course it did, with a brain like mine), so they let me come home. Daddy looked very upset for a couple of days, but I gave him my best smiles to let him know it was okay and that I still love him lots. Daddy has banished his mean old slippers now and is very careful on the stairs, too - he has started talking about moving house again...

I have been getting trillions of presents from all over the world and have begun to feel just a wee bit spoiled and very much loved. I have had 39 cards so farm, and my very favourites are the home made ones from Cari, from Jaiden and from Cara - they are the very besterest by far. I also got a blankie made for me by Orn and a cardie that Ithing Faux Grandma Berylhand- made for me - with giraffe buttons, no less. As well as those exciting things, I have had lots of toys and clothes, sme cute shoes, an Indian heffelump mobile, glove puppets, books, a painting with my name on it, a CD with songs that have my name in them, and my very first Moo Moo cow outfit! How exciting is that? Mummy has had gifts too - she has had lots of flowers and some oil that is calming so that she and I relax. Oh, and there seems to be some sort of battle on as to which soccer team I will support ... so far I've got a Celtic teddy bear and a Rotherham United bib... nothing from the Blades or the Owls yet though, which is a bit slack! I am thinking the Celtic colours are the most exciting, but the Rotherham United bib is rather fetching, so I am still undecided as to where my loyalties will lie.

Right, I think it is time to make some wailing sounds so that mummy will feed me - it's such an easy trick, she falls for it every time! Big squishy Monty kisses to all of you, love the Moo Moo